More From Me

Friday, October 10, 2014

Overwhelmed: Halloween Blog Carnival Edition

October 1, 2014 Entry 1
I wrote my first blog post today.  It was a lot of fun to write and I actually got the idea when I was walking into my apartment and saw a few boxes at my neighbors door.  I knew he was home and surprised that he hadn't brought them in.  I thought it would be fun to write a story about those packages, hence The Package came to be.  I would love to write a more fleshed out story after this semester is over.
It's been crazy juggling real life, school, and blogging, but I know I can do this.  Ok, I have a paper to write, a test to study for, and a presentation to go over.

October 2, 2014 Entry 2
Soooooo, I wrote This Town and it was funny how I thought of it.  I was actually listening to the Nashville Soundtrack and the song This Town was so haunting that I got inspired.  Though it has nothing to do with the lyrics to the song, it just triggered something in me; well that and the fact that I almost lost it on a professor today.  He was coming at me with questions that I had the answers for but he said "they were not the answers I'm looking for," so I said, "well what answers to do you want?"  If I wasn't close to his age he probably would have kicked me out. I just feel like there is so much pressure on me and lately I just feel like I'm not myself.
Ok, well, I have to get going...a ton of school work, I need a few drinks, and I need to get some sleep.  I've been having such crazy nightmares lately and they are keeping me up.  Dreams of killing and death and, well, just craziness.

October 3, 2014 Entry 3
The days are getting longer and I'm having a hard time waking up in the morning.  I'm still doing well in school and I'm trying so hard to keep all of my grades where I want them.  I'm also trying to get some blogging in as well.  I'm really trying to...I'm really trying...I'm really trying...Jesus!!!!!!!!  That's all I keep saying is I'm really trying...I sound like a fucking broken record, a pathetic broken record.
I had a problem with that teacher again today.  This time through email.  He said that the paper I handed in could have been better!  BETTER???  That fucking thing was perfect!  I checked and rewrote that fucking thing like four times!  He's a fucking douche bag.  Whatever.  I have an idea for a post today about a news reporter that has had enough of her competition so she kills them.  I'm going to go write that now so that way I can let this aggression out on a character and not my fucking teacher.

October 4, 2014 Entry 4
I'm not blogging today.  I'm not going to work today.  I don't have classes and I really need a rest.  I went out and bought a bottle of vodka and I intend on sitting alone, at home all day and drinking the entire bottle.  I want to forget about yesterday all together; it got worse.
I was walking down the hall and I could have sword that I heard these fucking 18 year old saying shit behind my back!  Ok, I get it!  I'm 34 and in college but you don't know my story, you don't know who I am.  I'd like to take a metal bat and bash their fucking heads in.  Ignorant sons of bitches.  Yeah, bash their heads in and then write a little letter on their half-conscious bodies:  This is what happens to douche bags.
I'm going to start drinking now.  Maybe I'll get some sleep, without those fucking nightmares, which are getting worse, thanks for asking...

October 5, 2014
I am hung over.
I am tired.
I'll kill anyone that starts with me.
I have home work to do that I don't want to do.  I have a paper that I don't want to write, and I have a blog entry that I'd like to write but i don't know how good it will be.  Maybe I'll have another drink and then start to write.
People at school today looked at me as if I were crazy. I don't know why.  Maybe it was the smell of booze on me.  Maybe it was my blood shot eyes, my messy hair, or my run down clothes.  Maybe it was the fact I haven't showered in three days, or did laundry, or changed my underwear or socks.
I'll write that blog now.  I'll dedicate it to the assholes at school.

October 6, 2014
Did you ever wonder what the insides of a person look like while they are still alive?  While the heart is still beating?  I have.  I'm going to blog about that.
I'm tired though.
I'm confused.  I'm not sleeping. My school work is getting harder and it's difficult to focus on what my teachers keep saying because all I hear come out of their mouths is: "Kill us Adam, kill us. 
We want it.  We want you to do it."  That's all i hear.

I've haven't posted in a few days. My school work has driven me to the point of murder. I stare at the students that walk past me in the quad. I look at them as they laugh and walk without an sort of care in the world.  They have no clue what it's like to be 34, in college, handling a job and a blog and homework and a social life and and and and and and and and and......
They make me want to kill.

I haven't posted in a while. I've have begun to exit my body. I am no longer the driver of my mind, there is someone else behind the wheel now, and he's telling me to kill.
I don't know when I will post again, or if I will post at all.  I do know that the blood on my hands is not my own and I don't know where it came from.
Someone help me.


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